Accepting Your Body - How to start loving your reflection

July 20, 2020

Accepting Your Body - How to start loving your reflection

We welcome our guest blogger to the ELC community Claire Jensen.

With over 10 years extensive experience in fashion retail and Visual Merchandising, Claire is now an accredited 1:1 personal stylist, workshop facilitator and Australian Style Institute Trainer.

Claire's message is around empowering and building confidence for her clients. With a focus on creating a positive dialogue around body image and educating our clients about how the clothes we wear can impact the way we see ourselves and how we feel.


Author: Claire Jensen, Stylist

There's a saying that I often share with my client’s which is:

What we focus on, we continue to notice and experience to the exception of everything else.

For example, when you hear a new song on the radio that you fall in love with, and all of a sudden, it’s playing everywhere you go. Every time you’re in the car, entering the shops or hitting shuffle on your Spotify playlist - the song seems to come on. This is because it is front of mind, we know it, we are familiar with it, and thus, our brain is wired to continue to listen out for it.

It is the same when we look at our own reflection. When it comes to looking in the mirror, we are experts at focusing on the same thing. And for most of us, we often distort that image in the mirror 30-40% to the negative. With that in mind, it’s no wonder that Dove’s research into body image and self-esteem reported that 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful, but do not see their own beauty. And a further 54% of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look; they are their own worst beauty critic.

In my previous blog for Everyday Lingerie Co, I touched on WHY confidence is important.

And I think more, now than ever, we recognise that we all deserve to feel confident and beautiful, just the way we are. As a stylist, my job is to help my clients see their beauty and feel confident. But that is often easier said than done. It’s funny how we spend so many years in school and the education system, yet no one ever teaches you how to really love yourself...

But here’s some tips I’ve learnt through my client’s stories and my own personal experience with negative body image on how to start loving your reflection... 

  1. You need to shift your focus: As I mentioned before: what you focus on, you will continue to experience and notice to the exception of everything else. I remember, one of my client’s could not see past what she thought were “big hips”. But while she had been so busy focusing on this area of her body, she failed to notice her great waist, her incredible décolletage and that she actually had really great proportion and balance through her body. Once we worked together and shifted her focus to her attributes - that is what she continued to notice. Shifting your focus to areas that are attributes or positives can really help shape the way you will see yourself.
  2. Question what you see on social media: Confession: I once edited a photo of myself in a bikini for Instagram. I’m not proud of it. But I was pretty self-conscious about some cellulite that was dotted across my butt and thighs. Now, I’m no social media influencer with hundreds of thousands of followers - but I eventually replaced that post with the unedited version. Why? Because I was giving people a false impression. My body DOES have cellulite. I’m a woman for crying out loud! Of course, it does! And it really made me stop and consider that what I see on other people’s Instagram really is an edited version of who they are. The “highlight reel” of photoshopped swimwear and lingerie images. So, if you are someone who looks up to someone you believe to have the “ideal” body - stop and question if it's all real. And this brings me to my next point.
  3. Unfollow people who make you feel crap: As a Stylist I love a good cull - clean out the closet of what no longer serves and what no longer makes you feel good, like those daggy old bras and briefs. And your social media accounts should be treated the same. If you are someone who feels worse about themselves after your evening scroll through socials - start breaking down why that is. Are the people you follow sending a message that is not conducive to your happiness? If so, put them in the bin! I promise you; they will not notice. And you will feel so much better for it.
  4. Take a compliment: How often do you receive compliments? If you’re sitting there saying “ahh never”, I challenge you to start taking more notice of the conversations you have. I can’t tell you how many women I work with, who, even while I’ve been out shopping with them receive a genuine compliment about their appearance. And then act like they didn't even hear it. They are so quick to deflect the compliment with some kind of excuse, or worse, drawing attention to their perceived “flaws”. In future, start to accept compliments as they come and say a simple thank you. And then relish in that compliment, and how it made you feel, because you deserve it.
  5. Stop judging others: If you think about bullies for a second - we are often told that bullying occurs because of the person's own insecurities and fears. And if this is true - judging others is exactly the same, we’re just not saying it to the person's face. Start to look for beauty in others, and I guarantee, your own energy and idea around what constitutes as beautiful will shift and you will start to notice it more and more - even within yourself.
  6. Invest in you: Self-care is a buzzword I've been hearing a lot lately. And I don’t think it’s just because we’ve been in COVID-19 lockdown eating a whole block of cheese and calling it “self-care”. Self-care is literally taking care of yourself. I know, mind blown! Now for some people, eating cheese and locking yourself inside is quality time. No judgement here...But I am talking about getting deep into rituals and habits that make you feel good. For me, I am a skin care addict. Give me a good face mask, a bubble bath and some hyaluronic acid and I am in heaven. Nothing makes me feel better than knowing I am looking after my skin. For others it's their diet, exercise, talking to a psychologist, spending time with their family, meditation...actually I am a big advocate of all of these things. Oh, and let's not forget retail therapy, like treating yourself to a new piece of lingerie or self-love pack! But whatever it is for you, take the time to invest in it. Start to recognise that you deserve those things that make you feel good, and you will start to shift the way you see yourself.

We only get one life, and yet, for many of us, we waste it focusing on the things that we perceive as flaws when we look in the mirror. And that kind of mindset is the one that haunts us every day, in everything we do. If you’re ok with that kind of life, cool. But I can tell you right now that life on the other side - a life where you like the person staring back at you in the mirror, is far more exciting and fulfilling. You should try it sometime...

To learn more about Claire Jensen and her world of styling follow her at @Clairejensenstyle on Instagram or visit her website

Don't forget to check out Claire's previous blog article for ELC, Why is confidence important?

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