October 26, 2020
We welcome our guest blogger to the ELC community Claire Jensen.
With over 10 years extensive experience in fashion retail and Visual Merchandising, Claire is now an accredited 1:1 personal stylist, workshop facilitator and Australian Style Institute Trainer.
Claire's message is around empowering and building confidence for her clients. With a focus on creating a positive dialogue around body image and educating our clients about how the clothes we wear can impact the way we see ourselves and how we feel.
I want to start this edition off by saying, I’m based in Melbourne, so it’s been a weird year for dating. Right now, I can only go on a date with someone who lives in my 5km radius (slim pickings, let me assure you), for a socially distanced walk, while wearing a face mask. And let me tell you, this is not where romance is born.
BUT - aside from a global pandemic hindering my 2020 dating plans to find “the one”- I’ve been on my fair share of dates. So, I'd like to think I know a few things around dating etiquette and making a great first impression.
First dates for most people are awkward. There's this immense pressure to present well, say the right things, having enough things to say, but not dominating the conversation, while also being cute and flirtatious and not getting drunk on 2 glasses of Pinot Grigio on a Tuesday night at the local pub.
But for a lot of women, the pressure also lies in picking the perfect “date night” outfit.
If you have ever been on a date in an outfit you’re really not feeling, maybe you raced from work to make it on time and feel a little disheveled. Or the top you put on is pulling and the tag is itchy, and the jeans aren’t feeling like they should - the date is already somewhat ruined. Those little things we tell ourselves we can get past; often are the things we are distracted by on a date. Rather than being present and attentive and enjoying ourselves.
Some may argue that guys don’t even pay attention to what you wear - and while that does hold merit to some degree, as a stylist, I know the power a great outfit can have on our ability to feel confident, sexy, beautiful or simply that you’re putting your best foot forward.
To make sure this opinion was accurate, I reached out to some past flames to get their opinion on if what we wear really makes a difference and I think you’ll be surprised by their answers...
9 out of 10 of these lovely gents were quick to say that what their date wears isn't as important as great eye contact or engaging conversation. In fact, all of them agreed that a date who has a certain level of confidence is what they’re likely to pay attention to.
While Matty K (28) said he does pay attention to his date’s overall appearance and demeanour, he is more attracted to someone who can match their look to the vibe of the date. For example, if you’re going to play mini golf - maybe leave the cocktail dress and heels for a fancy dinner or night on the town. Casual drinks at the pub? Think a dress that makes you feel incredible and a pair of heeled boots or those jeans that make your butt look insane with your favourite top and leather jacket.
Matt finished our conversation by saying “(while) putting zero effort into your outfit/appearance is a turn off, going all out for drinks at the pub is equally so”.
Andy (30) and Brett (35) agreed. But added that confidence is the ultimate attractive quality and sometimes is the determining factor between asking for a second date or not. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean being overly loud”, Andy said. It is a confidence that shows you’re comfortable, present and easy to talk to. Mitch (29) believes that if what his date wears makes them feel attractive, then that will be reflected in the vibe of the date and how it goes. And I would have to agree with him.
So with that in mind, and some great contribution from the boys, what makes for the perfect “date night” look? Here’s my conclusion:
It's a short and concise list, but I promise if you focus more on how your outfit makes you feel and less about what he/she is going to think about it, the only way the date won’t be successful is if the spark doesn’t ignite. And not because you didn’t present the most fabulous version of yourself. Because you’re fabulous. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
*** As a straight woman, I can only really understand what it's like to date men. But that in no way means that the advice provided in this article can’t be applied regardless of who you’re attracted to and which gender you date.
To learn more about Claire and her style visit her website; https://clairejensenstyle.com or follow Claire on Instagram @clairejensenstyle
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