February 03, 2020
What does a typical day look like for you?
Chasing a two-year-old, who is often naked and covered in Nutella, usually with one breast still out from feeding the baby every 25 seconds. There is always washing up to my knees, which makes me cry. I rock a bird's nest on top of my head, and I’m always burning incense. No, but seriously, I’m not joking - it usually looks exactly like that until 10am.
In between the chaos, there are a lot of adventures; we are a very outdoorsy tribe. We love to explore and just be with nature, so lots of beach trips, park runs, and walks. Every single day is different. I don’t believe in routines, so we just go with the flow.Who is your biggest inspiration in life and why? (Can be living or passed)
This is a really tough one. There are so many inspirational humans who have helped to mould my mind into what it is today.
Russell Brand is one of my idols; his mind will forever leave me speechless. Angela Gallo is another soul who forever touches my soul when she speaks.
Constance Hall is another wonderful soul.
My mother in law, Katrina, is another soul I am forever inspired by. She and her husband have the kind of love that is just is real and raw, felt by all of those around. I’m inspired by her parenting styles. She raised 6 boys - now that is a badass. She forever gives her heart and soul to those around her who need it. You can feel at ease by just sitting in the same room as her. She is a true queen, and I hope to live up to be half the woman she is.
You have 2 amazing boys, congratulations – can you share with us a little about them?
Thank you so much. My first born is Leon Leigh. He will be three in December and is an absolute firecracker. He is nonstop energy until he goes to bed. He is always making everyone laugh, but he also the sweetest and kindest soul. He is one of a kind and keeps me always on edge but it’s always fun. He is the spitting image of my husband.
My second is Obie Ryan. He is 8 months old. He is an old soul, the sweetest and most smiley little man… when he is being held, that is. He is always happy to just cuddle and watch what is going on. He is my little mini.
How did having children change you?
“When a child is born, so is a mother.”
This is the most accurate quote. It is so deeply honest. I was in a very dark space before I fell pregnant with Leon. I was deep into depression. Becoming a mother was almost as if my life just fell into place. I had a purpose. Life is magical. I found my calling, my purpose. It was as if clouds vanished and things just started making sense. I know saw life in a different way. I was no longer just loving for me but for them.
What is the toughest thing about having children?
Losing yourself, your identity. Don’t get me wrong - I love who I am today; I love being a mother. But you lose your independence. You forget about yourself. That personal space does go, and it can be hard to remember to make time for you. You are important too. Us Mamas are the glue to the family. Without us, it all falls apart. I also found it hard to keep the spark in my relationship. You forget about each other due to the exhaustion and the demand that comes with children. It can be lonely.
What did you dream of doing for a career as a child and why?Being a mum. No, I’m serious. Back in primary school, we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up; it was a part of our homework for the week. We had a little box to do a drawing in. I drew myself with 4 little kids. I always knew I wanted kids. I knew that from a very young age. I won't lie though - there was a time from about 9 years old until about 12, where I truly thought I was able to sing. I wanted nothing more than to be the next Amy Lee from Evanescence.
Congratulations on your successful Instagram Page and thank you for sharing your journey with such rawness and authenticity – How did this start for you? What the best and worst parts of this for you?
Thank you so much. Honestly, I didn't even try to start out my page as being an “influencer” - the exact account was under “Sharnnah Jasmine” for years, and it was just your typical teenager’s account. I have always loved expressing myself and writing and “over sharing.” I never thought I was “smart” enough to do anything with that. I am a terrible speller, but thanks to spell check I managed to get around that. Anyway, after I had Leon I began to share more and more about my journey.
So I shared birth photos and breastfeeding photos, and it kind of just blew up from there.
I shared an image of me cooking dinner by the stove while Leon sat on the bench on my breast. Another of me on the toilet with Leon asleep in my arms. The real moments not many “influencers” choose to share. They aren’t pretty photos or moments, but they are real. People relate to them.
I found it really hard when it came to social media and seeing all these “perfect mums” and how unrealistic it was. I wanted to share my journey, but MY REAL JOURNEY. Un-edited. And I guess other mums around the world loved it. My photos and page continue to get shared around the world, and it continues to grow. I hope to one day write a book about my journey. But I just don’t know where to even begin.
The best part about being an “influencer/public figure” is connecting with so many likeminded souls from all over the world. I have made some genuine friendships via this platform. I love how even when we are physically alone with kids all day, this platform can connect us. Motherhood is lonely. It’s nice to know you're not alone.
The worst part is the judgment. There are so many people watching your every move and everyone has an opinion. I mean that’s cool - we are all entitled to them, but sometimes we need to just keep the negative ones to ourselves. I’m no superhero. I am a regular human living a regular life. I just want people to remember that sometimes.
What do you see as your biggest achievement in life and why?
Hands-down having two beautiful children.
But a few other achievements I don’t want to leave untold would be overcoming depression and marrying the love of my life, my high school sweetheart.
What age did you fall in love with your body? What changed or happened in life to make this happen?I am still falling more and more in love with myself every day.
What is your favourite body part and why?
My breasts. I just love that I am able to feed my children with them. It’s absolute magic.If you could give your younger self 1 piece of advice what would it be?
You are a badass queen. You are worthy and that loneliness and darkness will ease.
Life is more than what it seems now. You got this, boo.
What is 1 word you would use to describe yourself?“Quirky”
What is your favourite book and why?
“Like a Queen” by Constance Hall. I love her rawness and how she is so unapologetically herself.
What is your mantra in life?
“This too shall pass.”
No matter what phase of your journey, good or bad, it passes. Nothing is forever. The bad days pass, just like the good days do. Nothing is forever. We need to live in the moment and appreciate what we have in this moment.
It depends on the day. I won’t lie, I love a Brief for comfort, but I also love a G String to feel sexy in!
Tell us more about the Postpartum Body positivity shoot you are organising. (At the time of our interview this was approaching on November 9th 2019).I am so excited about this shoot. I have been working hard on this movement I’m trying to create. Basically, my vision is to have a group of women come together in our raw beauty. Having our souls connect and shine as a tribe of powerful, empowered women living in our magic that is postpartum.
Red lipstick or Gloss?
Every stretch mark, our loose skin, our breasts. All beautiful. We do not “bounce back,” we bounce forward.
Do you have a piece of advice for the teenage generation today?
I would like to sit with anyone struggling in their own skin and let them know that you are not alone. There is always, always someone else out there who is going through something.
The darkness you may be feeling today? It passes. It might not be tomorrow, but the light will come.
You and every inch of your being are unique and beautiful. Every flaw and every quirk is beautiful.
You were not meant to be like everyone else. None of us were. Don’t compare yourself of anyone else, because none of us were meant to be the same.
You are the only other you in the world. That is amazing.
I love a clear gloss. Lipstick has never been my friend.
Cocktail or Wine?
I’m more of a “rum” kinda gal. However, I’ll never turn away a nice glass of Moscato!
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Ebanie, Amanda, Kristal & Monica join guest blogger Vanessa Lawrence for the fourth part of the Everyday Lingerie Co. Journey of a Woman's Life blog series.
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Ebanie, Amanda, Kristal & Monica join guest blogger Vanessa Lawrence for the third part of the Everyday Lingerie Co. Journey of a Woman's Life blog series.